My friend’s seven year old daughter is asleep on my shoulder with her arms and fingers woven between my own. The space she nuzzled her way into is generally reserve for my own children. But this little sprite has wormed her way through all my barriers and touched a spot deep in my heart that I hadn’t even known I’d been guarding.
You see the thing about my friend, Alli, is that our relationship began as a long distance one. We have a mutual friend who got tired of having the same conversations with two different people and decided it was time we “meet.” We were introduced via a video messaging app, and it’s all a wonderful story of friendship from there. The thing about friendship, though, is that presence - physical presence - is a necessity. Something really special happens when we are together. It’s the closest thing to magic I’ve ever experienced. Everything I love about Alli bursts into technicolor when I’m with her.
To use a stolen analogy, it’s the difference between turning on a video of a lit fireplace and stoking an actual fire. When we are together I can feel the warmth and comfort of our friendship.
And now, with her eldest daughter snuggled against me, I’m reminded of how this physical closeness has deepened our bond. Her child’s innocent trust and affection are gifts that distance could never convey. It’s in these quiet moments that I understand the importance of being physically present. It's not just about being in each other's company; it's about sharing life's little, unrepeatable moments.
Being close doesn’t just allow us to share experiences; it lets us support each other in ways that technology can't replicate. The comfort of a hug, the warmth of a shared smile, and the strength found in a held hand during tough times—these are the currencies of a rich relationship. They build a connection that spans the breadth of human emotion and experience.
In our digital age, we often underestimate the power of simply being there. We try to maintain friendships through screens and messages, but these tools, while invaluable, cannot fully bridge the gap that physical absence creates. They are supplements, not substitutes. Proximity allows us to participate in the daily rhythms of each other's lives, to be there for the mundane as well as the milestones. It transforms our understanding of one another, fostering empathy and deepening our commitment.
This is why I treasure every moment Alli and I spend together, why her daughter’s easy affection means so much. It's a testament to the bond Alli and I have nurtured, a bond that has grown in the soil of shared spaces and experiences. As we move through life, prioritizing proximity in our relationships can be challenging, but it’s a challenge worth embracing. For in these shared spaces, we find more than friendship—we discover a sense of belonging and an expanded capacity for love.
Let's not wait for perfect moments to connect, let's make the effort to be present, to close the distances when we can, and to weave our lives together with the threads of everyday interactions. Because in the end, the strength of our relationships is measured not by the length of time we spend together, but by the quality of our presence in each other's lives.